Settling In

Now that I have all my bags unpacked and bought some essentials for my room, I think that I can finally start my life here in Japan, but I found this past week to be a bit of a challenge. Since my classes haven’t started yet and there weren’t as many orientations this week, my schedule was quite free and relaxed. This was nice for me since it allowed me to take the time to explore the little town of Kodaira, where I am staying, and see the sights and sounds of Kokubunji and Tachikawa that have a little more hustle and bustle of a bigger city. Although it’s not comparable to the lively energy of central Tokyo, it reminded me of my hometown. Little moments like walking out from the stations during morning rush hour and seeing a blur of people quickly heading to school or work were all surreal and new experiences that I am gradually getting used to. The sunsets here also feel different. I am used to the clear sunny views of the Santa Barbara coast, but Japan offers a pastel sunset with streaks of clouds in the sky. When I am lucky to catch it on a train, it’s breathtaking and mesmerizing.

With the free time that I had, I was slowly able to get myself more situated and sort things out; like opening a Japanese bank account or paying my bills at the bank, but in the midst of all of this, I began to miss my friends and family back home. With all this time that I had to myself, it made me realize that I am physically on my own. Despite living on my own at my home university, I lived with housemates who are my best friends and whom I can confide in, and I could always drive 2 hours to be home with my parents. I realized that this transition of being on my own was a bit more daunting and was overwhelming at times. I wasn’t here as a tourist, but as a resident. I have to live my life here for the next year and a wave of homesickness washed over me. I missed my parents, my friends, and my boyfriend. With the time difference, it’s hard to make time to talk to them and I believe that it’s always something that I can work more on while being away. As a 5th year university student, many of my friends have all graduated and moved away, and this unofficial term of “post-grad depression” was hard. To have the majority of my life in school where I met most of my friends and made amazing memories, it was hard transitioning out of it into the adult world where your friends aren’t down the block. They aren’t there to share the same hardships with you, and although I am technically still enrolled, it didn’t make this transition any easier. There were a couple of days where I didn’t leave my room and I felt unmotivated, but I knew that studying abroad here was my dream. I worked hard to make this dream possible for myself, and I wasn’t going to let it go. I knew coming into this year-long program that I was going to face these hardships and that it’s all part of this learning experience. I know that it’s not easy, and that it’s okay to ask for help. Acknowledging and working through these emotions is helping me move forward. I am working on being more self reliant and independent, and I feel a little more humbled and excited to see how I’ll grow and change throughout this process. I know that it’s barely been two weeks, but I feel so grateful for my time here so far. I can’t wait to start school and have a routine in place, but for now, I feel invigorated and refreshed to continue my journey here. Thank you everyone who has made it this far, and I hope to see you guys next week. ❤️