Distance

Relationships of any kind take effort to maintain and to develop, and some might be easier than others depending on who that person is. With the 17-hour time difference between Tokyo and California, it’s been difficult to make time to talk and catch up with my friends and family back home. I don’t have the luxury of calling them every day or getting to see them once a week anymore. I’m missing birthdays and celebrations, and can only see what they’re up to through social media. But I know despite all of that, that they are still supporting me and sending me love all the way from California. And that is especially true with my boyfriend. Through all my rough patches here in Japan, he has always been by my side late at night to comfort me and be there for me. With no hesitation, he would be there if I ever needed him. Even though we were over 5,000 miles apart, we tried out best to make that space seem smaller. But over time, little things began popping up here and there that made maintaining our relationship more difficult. 

They say that communication is key when you’re in a LDR and that being transparent with one another will help build the relationship. Some told me that this can be a test to see if we would work out in the end. Before meeting him, I was set on going to Japan, which meant that being in a relationship was not going to change it, but when it was time for us to say goodbye, it was one of the hardest things to do. I know that that a relationship is more than just the physical aspect of being together, but being apart for a year is hard when we used to live a couple of blocks apart and hung out almost every single day. I started off this LDR optimistic that we could do it. A year will fly by in no time, and that we will see each other before we know it. Maybe that was easier said than done. I learned that there are certain aspects of a relationship that is can’t be replicated when you’re long-distance. The peaceful silence you share with someone, for example. Even though there is no conversation going on between anyone, the fact of having them therae and being comfortable with it is a feeling that isn’t well translated when you’re doing it over facetime or phone call. When the main source of communication had to switch from verbal communication to texting made it even harder to adjust to long-distance. The relationship shifted, and I was in denial. I thought these were issues that we can easily fix since we never really had any arguments when we were together. It’s hard when you can’t show love and affection the way you want it to. And for a moment, there was a drift between us, that I didn’t know what to do with. So much can be said and done when your partner is so far away. We decided to take a couple of step back and start over. Listening to one another and going from there, and I think its been helping us get back on track. Guys, long distance sucks and it is not easy. You have to consistently work to build the relationship. Especially with the holiday season, it doesn’t make it any easier… I feel very lucky to have my significant other in my life and to have his support throughout my journey abroad.

This Christmas, I’ll be spending it with friends that I met here, and New Year’s with my host-family! I wish everyone a happy holiday season, and I’ll see you guys next year!