I can’t believe that it has already been a little over a month since I’ve landed in Japan! This past month felt like it dragged on for too long, but also flew by at the same time. As I become more accustomed to my life here, I’ve gained more confidence to go out of my comfort zone and explore parts of Japan on my own. This past weekend, I spent a day exploring Harajuku and walking down the infamous Takeshita Street. Pro tip: Don’t ever go in a big crowd over the weekend because this small street is packed with tourists and natives alike wherever you go. There is no such as thing personal space, but since I took a solo trip, I was able to take my time and get lost in the crowd. Once again, I was in awe in how innovative Japan is in utilizing their space. With stores stacked on top of one another, don’t forget to always look up and down! There are so many hidden nooks that you can easily walk by.
In the blur of people, I couldn’t help but think about the ones that I miss and how I wished that they were with me. Don’t get me wrong! The new friends that I’ve met so far are people that I am so thankful to have, but I couldn’t help but miss the people that are over 5,000 miles away. I would feel lonely. I wasn’t happy. I started to feel sorry for myself and as I dwelled on those feelings, it snowballed into anger, frustration, and resentment. I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way. It was cyclic and toxic and I became fed up with how I was feeling. With all these pent-up emotions, I decided to begin meditating again to see if it’ll help. During one of my sessions, I was asked to think about the people that are motivating me. More than just for myself, I began thinking about people who are dear to me. And just like before, I began getting overwhelmed with the of loneliness barreling down on me and I started to feel a tightness on my chest. As thought of them, I also started thinking about how they are rooting for me. Despite being half way across the world, they are sending me their endless love and support. Soon after, my chest felt lighter and the feeling of loneliness was replaced with calmness. I was able to get out of my own head and allowed my feelings to pass. I regained a bit of my confidence and determination that I felt that I lost during my transition here. I made myself feel like a victim to my circumstances, and once I realized that, I snapped out of that illusion. I could finally breathe and be calm. I would have never imagined that my time abroad so far would as emotional as it is, but the issues that I struggled with deep down, eventually bubbled up to the surface where I had no choice but to face them. I say this every time, but I am grateful to be going through this experience. Traveling isn’t what is seems and it can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. Taking the time for yourself to recognize your feelings and working on them is so important. Although I still feel lonely, I now think about all the love and support that I am so lucky to have, and I feel okay. It’s okay to be lonely, but it’s important to not let it brew into something that isn’t healthy long-term. I’m still learning to be okay, but I know that I am in a better place ☺️
Michelle's Travels 